Playing with Nigel
Often, this blog is about narrative, but occasionally we just like to talk about games. Because we are nerds.
Recently, I started dabbling in Lord of the Rings Online, a clever, satisfying MMO, and Nigel - lead writer of Fallen London - said he fancied playing too. Nige and I are old gaming buddies. We're Left4Dead survivors. We're disillusioned veterans of World of Warcraft. We've Diablo'd all the way to hell and back. But because I insist on having children all the time, we haven't played anything together in ages. This was perfect! A chance to relive the old days!
In fact no. I'd forgotten what playing an MMO "with" Nigel was like. It goes a little bit like this.
You start at the same time, and make some characters. You kill some goblins together. You find some hats. Cool. You log off.
The next time you log on, Nigel is five levels higher than you. Wow. That was fast. You feel a bit inadequate, but think you can probably catch up. You launch on an aggressive campaign of questing, gain some levels, and log off. You feel pretty good.
When you log in again, Nigel is ten levels higher than you. You bump into him in the market. You're still in your starter armour, while he is clad from head to toe in resplendent mithril. You have to turn down the brightness on your monitor.
He wants to trade with you. He's trying to give you a sword that he "doesn't need any more". The sword is the most incredible thing you've ever seen. Its damage value has two more digits than whatever you're using now. It would make levelling a doddle. You'd definitely be able to catch him up with that. You take it. You equip it. Hey! It won't let you! Oh. You aren't at a high enough level. You think you can get away with a sword like that, you peon? The game scoffs. Come back in seven levels and we'll talk. You look around for Nigel. He's gone. How did he pay for a mount this early in the game? You log off.
The next time you log in, Nigel is twenty levels higher than you, and accelerating. He's moved on to other regions now, but you spot him one time on the road between capital cities. You're trying to eke the last half-mile out of that flea-bitten mule mount you bought with your final copper, making the most of its 10% speed boost and praying it gets you to your quest turn-in before it breathes its last.
Nigel, meanwhile, is riding a gryphon, and the gryphon shits rainbows. The mighty wind of his passage leaves you reeling, and kills your mule. You log off.
The next time you log in, Nigel has forty levels on you. You check where he is. He's somewhere called Awesomeville. Wow. That sounds even cooler than Herotown, and you won't be allowed into Herotown for another 20 levels. You check the game's wiki. Apparently, Awesomeville is located in the Land of Chocolate Waterfalls and Broadminded Casual Sex. Is that an expansion area? You've never heard of it. You send Nigel a tell. Say hi.
He doesn't remember you.
No, wait! He does, and in a splurge of nostalgia he hops on his gold-powered Tesla-Zeppelin and flies across continents to meet you. It takes less than a second. When he steps out, his sword carves the pixels on your screen in half. His armour shines like the sun. When you try to look at its stats, the numbers are so big your computer crashes. You restart, but he's gone. He's joined an invite-only guild of the game's developers and select geek culture celebrities, and is off to mingle in their exclusively-instanced VIP lounge in the sky. You hear the bar there serves experience points, neat.
When you log in again, there's a server message. It says the devs have been forced to raise the level cap because Nigel hit it at the speed of sound and reduced it to ash. To keep him occupied they've created entire new worlds for him to explore, and an "Incandescent Meta-Dragon" mount that allows him to "part the veils between them" like a "shotgun round through a zombie". Because he already had all the legendary purple items they've invented a new category of dodeca-legendary chartreuse ones. Every chartreuse item says "binds on Nigel". You log off.
You uninstall the game.